When most women find out they are pregnant, they start preparing their body by eating healthy foods and eliminating alcohol and medications. But the most important preparation is usually overlooked. Preparing yourself to become a mom means more than just getting ready on the outside, it requires an internal preparation as well.
The truth is, deep down you're never really "ready". How can you be? No amount of reading, watching, listening, or imagining will ever be enough. Parenting will eventually break you down and you'll be cracked open, raw, coming undone, wondering why any one would ever purposefully want to become a parent at all.
Becoming a mother is the biggest life change that a woman will ever experience. There is no doubt about that. So where are the communities and spaces where women are preparing for this event? Talking about their fears and anxieties, doubts and concerns, listening and supporting and reassuring each other in their vulnerability? And most importantly, getting centered and present for the their baby's needs once they are earth-side?
Pregnancy is a journey of 40ish weeks that is not only shaping the new life, but shaping the relationship and bond between the mother and child. The womb is the child's first classroom, according to Garbh Sanskar, an ancient Indian practice of bonding and mentoring the baby during pregnancy. It is said that the second trimester is when the baby develops their emotional body. In fact, 80% of a baby's brain is developed in the womb.
If expecting moms were to use this time to dive in and connect with their own emotions and experiences, in a safe place while also meeting other expecting moms and holding space for their vulnerabilities, it would show their babies that they are being born into a world that is loving, forgiving, and compassionate. Imagine being born knowing that you could do no wrong and your feelings were valid. That's the vision that I hold for Second Trimester Circles.
Circling during the Second Trimester is an opportunity to connect more deeply with yourself, so that you can connect with your loved ones from a place of presence. You will become a mother knowing how to respond to your little one's needs without burying your own needs. Make your self your child's most valuable possession, and at the same time, teaching them the value of empathetic relating. And you get to practice and hone a communication skill that will help you have more connection and less drama in every relationship in your life.
Getting ready for a baby should mean learning how to communicate honestly and with ease. Being able to stay present and be supportive during challenging moments. Clearly expressing their needs and knowing how to ask for them when not being met. Social connectedness is a primary contributor to a person's sense of wellness, why not set your child this example from the very start? It seems to me like a healthy way to transition through the threshold of motherhood, and to be as ready as possible for the thing that you will both lift you up and simultaneously crush you down.
If you are expecting, or trying to conceive, what are you most worried about becoming a mom? If you're already a mom, what surprised you the most? Please comment below, I would love to hear. Would you be interested in joining a Second Trimester Circle?
Sending much love and compassion to all women on the epic journey of their lifetimes. Thank you for all that you do!