Most babies in the animal kingdom are born far more advanced than human babies. Human babies are extremely vulnerable. They are basically only capable of the basic human survival mechanisms: sleep, eat, poop, and look cute while doing it. Babies are actually born too soon, and that's for evolutionary purposes. When homo sapiens made the shift from quadrupedal to bipedal, or from four-legged to two-legged creatures, the shape of our pelvis adapted to be more bowl shaped, and thus, more narrow. If baby could, baby would definitely be staying a few more months in their all inclusive womb resort! The first 3 months of your baby's life, their head is still very soft, their needs are very rudimentary, and their tiny little digestive and immune systems are very immature. That's why it is considered the 4th Trimester - your newborn is a fetus outside of the womb. To recreate a womb-like environment for your baby, consider what life was like for them before birth. It was warm, soft, snug, slightly dark with warm red rays of light, and not at all quiet or ever laying flat and still. This is important to remember when your baby gets fussy. And your baby is going to get fussy. Soothing a fussy baby is like a magic wand, or a miracle from god, because when your tiny baby is not happy, the whole world is going to know about it. They are going to stretch their vocal chords to the max to tell you about it. Your sleep will be strained, or nonexistent, and you will be exhausted from round the clock meeting of your tiny human needs. The good news is, this is a phase, and parents usually report around 10-12 weeks they find a rhythm with their babe and things start to look more predictable or even, dare I say, on a schedule. Knowing about the intensity of the Fourth Trimester is important for parents-to-be, so you can be as prepared as possible. The top three best ways to get support during the early months of your child's life are: 1) Meal trains or gift cards for food delivery. I can stress enough the importance of planning this in advance. Buying food and planning meals takes time and energy that you will not have with all the demands your new baby requires. Many new families reach out to their community, who will organize a meal train, bringing food over that can be heated up and eaten easily. The warmer and wetter the food, the better for a breastfeeding mom. Think stews, soups, curries, rice and noodle dishes, etc. Fruits and veggies and good sources of protein are as important in this time as every for healthy development of everyone! 2) Sleep support (family, friend or postpartum Doula). You might think this is a luxury, or not essential. It may feel unnecessary if you don't have a lot of experience with newborns. I say this with all sincerity - a few decent nights of sleep a week is absolutely critical to the mental health and well-being of the family. You will still be tired. But some good sleep is heaps better than none at all. Find someone you trust and get good sleep. Your baby needs you rested. Calm parents have calm babies. Stressed parents have stressed babies. When your sleep goes, everything else starts to go as well. Get good sleep! Hooray for sleep! 3) Limit visitors and outdoor exposure. Yes I just said to get sleep support. But this should be one of a very few handful of people who are coming into your home when you have a newborn baby. If they are not there to help - cook, clean, bring food and supplies, or hold the baby so you can shower and sleep, then they really don't belong in your nest. It will be difficult, it will be uncomfortable, you will feel bad, but this is extremely important for a number of reasons. Remember when we spoke about your baby's immature immune system? Outsiders bring in pathogens that you and your body are not healthy enough to fight. Also, new moms should not feel any pressure to entertain guests, as it can interrupt their rhythm with their new baby, who is attuning to them every moment possible. Nesting in the fourth trimester is a sweet time that you will never get back and can have lasting impact on your relations. Protect this time together as best you can, and you will benefit in healthy mind, body, and spirit. Your family is doing an amazing thing, birthing and welcoming a new baby into the world. Expect many changes, as well as many challenges, in the Fourth Trimester. Find trusted support in advance and consistently share deeply and vulnerable about your experiences. Reach out to me or another member if you are struggling. Comment below with more important lessons you'd like to share with the community if you have them. We are in this together.